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Signs of a self-absorbed non-custodial parent - christi

Mar. 13th, 2004 07:28 pm Signs of a self-absorbed non-custodial parent

This is a response to a list of signs of "vindictive single mothers" I found on the web somewhere....

* Doesn't know his children's birthdates even though he was there for the labor and delivery and celebrated several birthdays with the kids. (I use male pronouns here because frankly I can't see a mom being able to forget several hours of excruciating labor.) This is especially the case when the birthdates are forgotten within months of celebrating these several years of birthdays.

* States that eir only concern with child support payments is "minimizing expenses".

* Doesn't contact eir kids even though e has current address, phone and email addresses.

* Complains about not being able to see eir kids while making no attempt to make contact.

* Doesn't know what eir kids are interested in or involved in.

* Moves out of the community without telling anyone including the courts (to avoid child support collection) or the custodial parent or the kids.

* Parents other children while attempting to avoid supporting the kids e already has.

* Intercepts and opens mail and keeps mail intended for custodial parent.

* Has no clue as to the current medical conditions of kids.

* Denies medical conditions of kids in order to "minimize expenses".

* Doesn't attempt to contact child or hospital (to assertain condition)when child is admitted to a hospital for several days.

* Doesn't keep medical insurance updated and current for kids in contradiction of medical support order.

* Doesn't follow up when eir medical insurance fails to pay a hefty medical bill (contrary to medical support order).

* Brags about how e can't have eir wages garnished or deliberately attempts to make it impossible to have eir wages garnished as ordered in a child support order.

* Fails to notify court of employment status as ordered in a child support order to avoid wage garnishment.

* Brags about how e deliberately arranged to avoid having taxes garnished to pay for child support by under paying taxes.

* Lies about employablity or employment status to avoid paying child support.

* Owns expensive toys (TiVo, new car, etc.) while not providing anything for children beyond (or including) court ordered child support payments.

* Has no pictures of kids.

* Doesn't ask about kids when the custodial parent contacts em.

* Doesn't contact custodial parent to inquire about kids status.

* Doesn't talk about kids, other than to complain about paying child support.

* Accuses custodial parent of "stalking" when the custodial parent tries to find information on the internet to facilitate child support collections.

* Brags about how e will stop child support payments for eir disabled child when the child turns 18 regardless of whether eir child is then able to care for emself.

* Threatens to fight for custody of kids only to attempt to get custodial parent to do what e wants.

* Shows no interest or desire to keep any of the kids in family home when other parent leaves the home.

* Claims the custodial parent has made unfounded accusations of abuse when there is a record of accusations of abuse made by multiple members of the community against em.

* Complains about the amount of child support the state says e should pay for eir kids.

* Children lack discipline and respect. (This actually comes straight from the other list... I figure it takes more than one person to raise a child and the deliberate absence of a parent is as likely a cause as any other.)

* Custodial parent is on welfare, particularly if child support is not paid regularly and/or the care of the children prevents the custodial parent from getting regular employment.

* Lets other people take the place of em in eir children's lives.

* Looks to find other people's children to replace eir children and/or create other children to replace eir children.

* Ignores or denies any strain on custodial parent for raising eir kids.

Now, I could go on and on, but I think the point is made. It takes two people to create a child. BOTH parents have a responsibility to see the child is cared for. Any parent who tries to alienate emself or the other parent from the kids is doing the kids a disservice. Any parent whose only concern is money is doing eir kids a disservice. Deadbeat parents have a bad reputation for good reasons. There are good non-custodial parents and bad ones. There are good custodial parents and bad ones. For those of you who see yourself or ones you love in this list, I apologize. Unfortunately the ones that get hurt most are the kids.

Current Mood: cynicalcynical

2 comments - Leave a commentPrevious Entry Share Next Entry


Date:March 17th, 2004 07:54 pm (UTC)

non-custodian parents

any parent who has brought a life into this world has a responsibility to that life's well-being; this can be either mandated by a court of law or by a higher law of nature. Either way the parent that violates these laws should suffer the full horrors of H--- itself.
for the Wican in the audience, Mother Nature's wrath has no limits.
Date:September 11th, 2004 06:54 am (UTC)
wow, I totally agree.
I could never picture having a child and then not having that child around me. Here I am leaving the state, and the father acts like he doesn't even care.
How can people be like that?